Nurturing the Marriage Relationship in the Ecological Breastfeeding Family



      There are a lot of authors that suggest overnight and weekend getaways as necessary for a healthy marriage.  If you practice ecological breastfeeding, however, these trips are not always advisable.  When your youngest child weans, maybe a trip like this will be a possibility.  What to do in the meantime?  My husband and I have a weekly two hour date night.  If I have a nursling or a clingy toddler, she comes with us.  Otherwise the youngest stays home with her brothers (our oldest two sons are teenagers).  Before our oldest was a teenager, we had a regular babysitter for date night.  If you do not have a teenage son or daughter or you cannot afford a sitter, consider trading babysitting with a friend.  Another idea is to have a date night at home by putting on a family DVD for the kids and sharing a special meal with your sweetie at the kitchen table.
      In our family we have a bedtime for the oldest kids.  This way my husband and I have quiet time together in the evening.  Our nursing baby is welcome to join us.  Once our second child came along, we realized that even if the baby stays up with us, it is still quieter and more conducive to couple time than when all the kids are up.  I know some moms who do not have bedtimes.  They most likely set aside other times for special couple time, possibly after dad gets home from work.  As your children get older, you can let them know that for the first 20 minutes after dad gets home, they need to play or read quietly so that the two of you have some time to reconnect after a busy day.
      There are other little ways you and your husband can stay connected while raising children.  You can talk on the phone during the day, exchange text messages or emails and have lunch together if your husband is able to come home from work.  You may consider asking friends what works for them or subscribing to inspirational blogs for more ideas.

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