Parenting Styles, The 7 Baby B’s of Attachment Parenting, and Breastfeeding

This month at our online meeting we discussed parenting styles, the 7 Baby B’s and their affect on breastfeeding.  CNML mentor, Christelle Hagen, led the meeting and presented the following diagram about the four main parenting styles which is based on the work of Diana Baumrind, Eleanor Maccoby, and John Martin:


(Image created by Francyne Zeltser)


Each parenting style has its pros and cons but most research points to the ideal parenting style being the authoritative. This parenting style involves setting clear expectations for your child but also involves being open to discuss and work with your child. During our discussion most of the moms said they practiced a mix of parenting styles, and everyone said they were hoping to become better moms!  The moms also agreed that the authoritative style seemed like the best way to parent.

Dr. Sears encourages attachment parenting in his books and on his website.  He lists 7 B’s that comprise attachment parenting: birth bonding, breastfeeding, baby wearing, bedding close to baby, belief in the language value of baby’s cry, beware of baby trainers, and balance. If you notice, many of the Baby B’s are also aspects of ecological breastfeeding, and all the Baby B’s benefit the breastfeeding relationship and encourage a plentiful milk supply.  However, even if you do not follow all of the Baby B’s, you can still have a successful and rewarding breastfeeding relationship!  Sometimes traumatic births or premature births delay bonding or some moms find it difficult to wear their babies.  These moms can still nurse their babies and have a good milk supply.  Following the Baby B’s just helps increase your likelihood of breastfeeding success and a good bonding experience.

Parenting styles can negatively or positively affect breastfeeding.  For instance, if a mom follows a more authoritarian parenting style with her baby, she may create a very strict feeding schedule for her baby that she does not violate even if her baby appears hungry.  This could lead to a decrease in milk supply.  Another example might be a mom who is very permissive.  She nurses her toddler whenever he wants -  day and night - and never puts her toddler down long enough so she can even take a 5 minute shower.  She is starting to grow resentful of motherhood.  It is wonderful that she is still nursing her toddler and that she is so attentive to him, but their relationship is out of balance. She is ignoring her own needs.

If you would like to join us for our next online meeting, go to St. Croix Birth and Parenting to register. We look forward to meeting you and chatting about breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood!

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