Nurturing with Love: Setting Healthy Boundaries for Toddler Nurslings by CNML Mentor, Shannon Lauer

Dear Catholic Nursing Mothers,

As Catholic mothers, we are called to nurture our children with love, patience, and faith, reflecting the self-giving love of Christ. Nursing our toddlers is a beautiful extension of this call, fostering a deep bond that nourishes both body and soul. However, as our little ones grow, many of us find ourselves navigating new challenges: how do we maintain this sacred connection while setting healthy boundaries that honor our well-being and our toddler’s development? Today, let’s explore how to approach toddler nursing with grace, prayer, and practical wisdom. 

The Beauty of Nursing a Toddler

Nursing a toddler is a unique season of motherhood. It’s a time when our children are no longer infants but still seek the comfort and security of breastfeeding. For many of us, this act remains a profound way to connect, offering moments of closeness that mirror the tenderness of Mary cradling the Christ Child. Research supports the benefits of extended breastfeeding, noting that it continues to provide nutritional and immunological advantages well into toddlerhood. Spiritually, it’s a reminder of our role as co-creators with God, sustaining life through our bodies.

Yet, as our toddlers grow more independent-running, talking, and exploring the world-we may feel the need to establish boundaries that balance their needs with our own. This is not only natural but also a loving act of stewardship over the gifts of our time, energy, and bodies.

Why Boundaries Matter

Setting boundaries is an act of love, both for ourselves and our children. As Catholic mothers, we are called to practice prudence and temperance, virtues that guide us in caring for our families while also honoring our own dignity. Boundaries help us:

• Preserve our well-being: Nursing on demand with a toddler can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when juggling other responsibilities or family needs. Healthy boundaries ensure we have the energy to fulfill our vocation as mothers, wives, and daughters of God.

• Teach respect and self-control: Toddlers are learning to navigate their desires and emotions. Gentle boundaries around nursing help them develop patience and respect for others’ needs.

• Foster independence: As our children grow, boundaries encourage them to explore other forms of comfort and connection, preparing them for the next stages of their journey.

Practical Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries

Here are some practical, faith-filled strategies for establishing boundaries while maintaining the loving bond of nursing:

1. Pray for Discernment


Begin with prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to guide you in setting boundaries that honor your family’s unique needs. Reflect on Mary’s example of surrender and strength, trusting that God will lead you to decisions that nurture both you and your child. A simple prayer might be: “Lord, grant me wisdom to love my child generously while caring for the body and soul You’ve entrusted to me.”

2. Set Predictable Nursing Times


Toddlers thrive on routine. Consider designating specific times for nursing, such as morning, before naps, or bedtime. This helps your child know when to expect nursing while giving you predictability. For example, you might say, “We’ll nurse after storytime,” redirecting their request with calm confidence.

3. Offer Alternatives for Comfort


Toddlers often nurse for emotional closeness as much as for nutrition. When nursing isn’t possible or appropriate, offer other forms of connection: a hug, a favorite book, or a special prayer together. For instance, you might pray a Hail Mary while cuddling, reinforcing your bond in a faith-filled way.

4. Communicate Simply and Lovingly


Toddlers may not fully understand boundaries, but they respond to clear, gentle communication. Use simple phrases like, “Nursing is for bedtime, but let’s play together now!” Pair this with a distracting activity, such as building blocks or a walk outside, to ease the transition.

5. Involve Your Faith Community


Lean on your Catholic Nursing Mothers League sisters for support. Share your experiences during meetings or online forums, and seek advice from mothers who’ve navigated this stage. Their stories can remind you that you’re not alone and that your efforts are part of a shared journey of faith.

6. Practice Self-Care with Grace


As mothers, we often put ourselves last, but caring for your physical and emotional health is essential. Ensure you’re eating well, resting when possible, and seeking moments of prayer or reflection. A nourished mother is better equipped to nurse with joy and set boundaries with love.

7. Consider Gradual Weaning (If Ready)


If you feel called to begin weaning, approach it prayerfully and gradually. For example, you might reduce one nursing session at a time, replacing it with a special ritual, like singing a hymn or offering a healthy snack. Trust your maternal intuition, guided by prayer, to know when the time is right for you and your child.

A Catholic Perspective on Boundaries

In our faith, boundaries are not about withholding love but about channeling it wisely. Jesus Himself modeled this, taking time for solitude and prayer while pouring out His love for others. As mothers, we emulate this balance, giving generously to our children while also honoring the limits of our human capacity. When we set boundaries, we teach our toddlers that love is patient and kind, preparing them to live out these virtues in their own lives.

You Are Not Alone

Dear sisters in Christ, navigating toddler nursing and boundaries can feel like a delicate dance, but you are not alone. The Catholic Nursing Mothers League is here to support you with resources, encouragement, and a community rooted in faith. Lean on Our Lady, the ultimate model of motherhood, and trust that your efforts to nurture your child with love and boundaries are pleasing to God.

We’d love to hear your stories! How have you set healthy boundaries with your toddler nursling? Share your tips and experiences in our community discussions, and let’s continue to uplift one another in this sacred vocation of motherhood.

In Christ’s love,

The Catholic Nursing Mothers League